During the first few months of dating or married life, everything can be so exciting, especially in bed. But as months and years pass, everything can start to simmer down. Instead of having regular date nights, you might settle for some Netflix and chill on your off days. As you and your partner become more comfortable with the relationship and with each other, the excitement might start to diminish, so does your sex drive.
One of the many things that couples that have been together for a long time often complain about is their spiraling sex life. The lack of intimacy and sexual desire for each other can put a strain in the relationship, which could lead to more pressing problems. Numerous studies show that being together for a while can dampen a couple’s sexual drive for reasons that are not solely due to aging. Research also revealed that problems in a couple’s sex life translate to issues in other aspects of their relationship. For example, people who are shown impatience, criticism and resentment by their partners are likely to believe that they are no longer desirable. This reduces a person’s confidence and trust, which are crucial in any relationship.
A person who does not feel desirable or does not feel confident about himself or herself usually has a hard time acting on their sexual urges. This is because they don’t think that their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend would want to make love to them, let alone find them attractive. If left unresolved or even recognized, these negative feelings could lead to marital or relationship woes that could eventually cause the couple to break up.
To properly address the lack of sex drive, it is important to know and understand the crucial factors that may be contributing to this problem.
- 1 Common myths about low sexual drive
Common myths about low sexual drive
Myth 1 – Emotional intimacy is important for a healthy sex life.
Many of us have been made to believe that couples who are emotionally intimate have the best time in bed. Kathryn Hall, author of “Reclaiming Your Sexual Self”,” says that a lot of people who are emotionally intimate with their partners have experienced a decline in their sex life anyway. This is because this kind of closeness among couples do not necessarily fuel their desire. This is why it is essential for couples to let themselves be more playful, be risk-takers and to be less emotionally intimate. Hall added that the key to having a really great physical intimacy is “to forget about doing what you think is normal.” Couples should instead explore what is “fun and young and sexy.”
Myth 2 – Emotional problems should be dealt with first.
When a couple is having problems with their sex life, many people assume that emotional issues, such as resentment, lack of communication or anger, should be fixed first. Experts suggest otherwise. Analyzing a couple’s sexual relationship helps resolve other problems they may be having. Michelle Weiner-Davis, author of “The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple’s Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido,” says, “When couples start touching again, they feel closer to each other, which puts them more emotionally on the same page and makes it easier to resolve other differences.”
Myth 3 – A woman’s hormones tells a lot about her sex drive.
For many people, when a woman rarely wants sex, there must be something wrong with her libido. This is one of the biggest misconceptions of low sexual desire. This is because, in most cases, how a woman feels about herself and her partner affects her interest in sex. So, if your wife or girlfriend doesn’t want sex as much as you do, you have to assess the relationship itself. She might feel resentful about you not having enough time for her, or she feels neglected most of the time.
Myth 4 – You can make up for saying “no” to your partner in other ways.
Buying your significant other gifts or taking them to a fancy dinner does not equate to making love to them. People have different “love languages.” There are people who find touching very pleasurable, while others love meaningful talks. In a healthy relationship, both partners should figure out each other’s love languages to be able to satisfy each other. The key is to have mutual caretaking for each partner to feel loved and desired, thus having more sex drive.
There are many ways to increase yours and your partner’s sex drive and desire for each other. While many couples resort to sex therapy, there is a far easier and healthier way to increase libido and have a more active sex life – yoga. Yes, practicing yoga will rock your sex life and turn your “Om” to “Oooh” and “Aahh!”
How yoga can drive your sexual desire for your partner
- Increase sensitivity
When you practice yoga, you are improving your breathing, which helps manage your blood pressure, as well as decrease anxiety and stress levels. You are able to relax your mind and body, thus increasing your sensitivity. As a result, you are more primed for physical intimacy, which could you become more sensitive and responsive to your partner’s sexual advances.
- More peace of mind
When your mind isn’t plagued by the pressures you are constantly exposed to, it is highly likely that you’ll have more satisfaction in bed. It’s hard to think about sex when you’re always worrying or are stressed out about other things. And responding positively to your husband’s or boyfriend’s advances is next to impossible when you’re clearly not in the mood at all.
- Improve orgasms
Yoga strengthens your core, allowing you to have more control over your pelvic muscles and sex organs. By harnessing this newfound ability, you will be able to have a more powerful climax. Furthermore, this practice helps you release muscle tension, resulting to full-body orgasms.
- Way more energy
During love-making, it is important that your body has a heightened alertness to better respond to what your partner is doing to you. However, fatigue, stress and anxiety can keep you up at night, which could result in decreased energy and low sex drive. But when you practice different yogic poses and meditation, you’ll have more energy and stamina to really enjoy every sexual encounter for prolonged periods. Imagine hours of sexual pleasure.
- New and improved sexual positions
Yoga postures make your body stronger and more flexible. This means that your body will always be ready the next time your partner wants to try a new and exciting sexual position – no more body pains the morning after. In fact, you can turn some of the yoga poses you learn into sex positions that will be most pleasurable for you and your significant other.
- More confidence
Because yoga helps to make you feel more alive, thanks to having a better understanding of your mind and body connection, you will have more confidence in yourself. In turn, you will feel sexier and more desirable, making you respond more positively when your partner starts touching or kissing you.
Similarly, meditation allows you to have a better sense of self. As a result, you’ll feel better, urging you to take better care of yourself. This could make you more attractive and thus, more desirable to your partner.
- Enhance your relationship
When you and your partner have a healthy and exciting sex life, your relationship becomes more blissful. This is because sexual intimacy can help you become closer, thus more able to discuss and resolve other issues that could affect your bond. This is especially true if you and your partner would practice yoga together. By doing so, you’ll both enjoy the benefits of this discipline, which include having more energy, stronger stamina, more flexibility and better breathing. All of which can help drive your sex life to new heights.
- Delay premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is one of the common problems that make people lose interest in sex. It is a depressing occurrence to both men and women as it can prevent sexual satisfaction. Research reveal, though, that certain poses, like seated forward end, plough, fish and bow could treat this dysfunction more effectively than antidepressants. In fact, finding showed 100 percent improvement in sex drive to 82 percent of the participants.
- Enhance libido
In the same way that yoga can aid in treating premature ejaculation in men, it can also help enhance women’s sexual desire. Meditation allows women to get in touch with their inner selves, thus having a better understanding of their wants and needs. This results in having more awareness in bed, leading to complete and utter satisfaction.
To sum it all up, the key to having sex that’s off the charts is proper breathing, which can be done through yoga and meditation.
9 yoga poses to drive your sex life go through the roof
This asana is aimed at stretching your sexual meridians.
In a sitting position, bring the soles of your feet together. Bend the knees and drop them as close to the floor as possible. Hold your toes with both hands. While doing so, inhale and lengthen your torso. Then, exhale and bring your torso forward from the hips. Lower your head towards your toes. Hold the position for 10 breaths.
This pose helps balance and heal your sex chakra. Doing this stretches your sex organs while increasing blood flow to your reproductive organs.
First, lie on your stomach keeping your feet together and pointed away from you. For stability, put your hands next to your ribs while pressing your pelvis lower to the mat. Using your back muscles, lift your chest off the ground. Keep your upper thighs on the floor and your back arched up. Look upwards and stretch your neck. While in this position, take long, deep breaths. Hold this pose for a few seconds. Then, come back down and exhale.
Cat and Cow
This series of postures strengthen your Kegel muscles, which are responsible for giving you mind-blowing orgasms.
Begin in the tabletop pose with shoulders positioned directly above your wrists and your hips in line with your knees. Arch back while inhaling. Lift your chest away from your belly and extend your tailbone upwards. Exhale and then round back up. Repeat these routines five times.
This pose is beneficial to your sex drive by healing your nervous system and improving your overall health.
In a seated position, extend both legs straight in front of you. Keep your legs parallel and feet pointing towards the sky. Bend forward and reach or your toes to stretch the calves and nerves. Hold on to your legs as low as possible making sure you’re not bending your knees. Also, make sure you are bending from the waist. Keep your back as straight as possible.
The seated wide-legged straddle helps stretch the interior and exterior legs. It also aids in the proper functioning of your abdominal organs. Plus, it relaxes the mind and groin.
Begin in a seated position keeping your spine straight and legs stretched out in front of you. Spread your legs to form an approximately 90 degrees angle. Push your buttocks forward and press your hands on the ground to widen your legs. If you feel any discomfort, you can opt to raise your hips by sitting on a thick towel or blanket. Press the back of your legs toward the floor, pointing your toes toward the sky. While inhaling, lengthen your torso. Then, exhale and lean forward from your hips extending your hands to hold onto your big toes. Hold for 10 breaths.
This pose increases your spine’s elasticity ad flexibility as it lengthens and strengthens the vertebrae. This can also lead to smooth and toned muscles.
Begin by lying on your back. Make sure your feet is hip distance apart with your heels up against your buttocks. Reach for your feet and take a hold of your ankles. While in this position, bring your torso upwards, pushing your hips of the ground. This should cause your upper thighs to stretch. Stretch up a bit more so that your chest is closer to your chin to stretch your lower back. Keeping your feet flat on the floor, continue to grab your ankles. Stay in this position for 15 breaths. Then, repeat.
This will make your pelvic joints healthy by working your inner thighs and engaging your abdominals. It can also stimulate your spleen and sex glands.
From a standing position, keep your feet in hip distance apart with your toes turned out. Put your palms together in front of your chest. Then, slowly bring your body lower to the floor. Hover just above the floor. Place your biceps behind your knees to widen them and stretch your spine. While in this pose, bring your chest up toward the sky.
This pose is in the Kama Sutra. This allows blood flow through your cervix, preparing this area for some exhilarating climax. Aside from that, holding the pose will help relax your mind and enjoy some love-making with your partner.
From a standing pose, lower down through your left foot, slightly bending the same knee. Lift your right foot and cross it over the left knee. Then, take the front of your right foot around the left calf. Next, sit down into your buttocks while tucking your tailbone under. Lift your chest up towards the sky. While inhaling, stretch your arms overhead. Cross the left arm over your right folding the forearms at the elbow and wrapping around each other to bring your palms together. Raise your elbows and feel the stretch in your spine. Stay in this position for five breaths. Release and then repeat to other side.
Keep in mind that this pose is a complicated one, so make sure your body is flexible enough to execute it properly. This pose improves your hamstrings’ flexibility and enhance your sexual systems.
To begin, lie on your back with your legs bent and your knees above you. To support your back, keep your hands on your ribcage. Straighten your legs and keep them together. Slowly swing your legs over till your toes touch the ground behind you. Maintain this position using your upper back and keep your legs as straight as possible. Hold for 15 breaths.
One of the most common yoga exercises that enhances your sexual drive and pleasure is contracting and releasing your Kegel muscles or the muscles around your pubic area. Do it as if you are preventing the flow of urine. Repeat 10 times, with five counts each. This strengthens the muscles in that part of your body, preparing it for some sweet, sweet loving with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.
By taking the time to practice yoga to increase your sexual drive, you can be sure to enjoy more intimate moments with your lover. It’s also advisable to encourage your partner to do yoga poses with you so that you can both reap its amazing benefits and have a more fulfilling sex life. Plus, you can be sure to maintain a healthier physique and more peaceful mind, which can contribute to having a happier and more lasting relationship.